The quickest way to change my children’s behavior is by first controlling mine. Almost every single issue I will be confronted with will come back to me learning how to control my own reaction and response. I have so much more power by controlling myself than controlling my children.
The truth is that I have control issues. I am anxious about my children’s future. I have perfectionism issues. I bring my own expectations from my childhood. I this is all normal; and I must realize that this is my issue, not my children’s. It’s just that my children, especially my strong-willed child is the absolute gift because they cause all my issues to surface…so that I can be the grown up and change who I am.
There’s no blame or guilt here. I just need to be honest and humble. Being honest and humble will break down my children’s defenses and model the right way to live. Just realize when my child is giving me attitude or yelling at me, he’s probably angry at himself. So when I take things personally, I’m making it about me instead of giving my child the time and wisdom to help himself.
So, I need to stop taking everything personally and act like the mature grown up. Stop looking to my child for respect and demonstrate self-repect. Stop reacting, getting annoyed, and giving my child power over me, no matter how frustrating he is. I cannot follow his lead. I need to lead. Lead with self-respect, self-control and self-discipline.
Yes, this parenting thing is hard and being immature makes it even harder…. for both me and my children.
Have an amazing day and let me get back to work.
